Weird beer

This month, we visit Gujarat, where rogue buffalo are terrorising the locals

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What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison? You can’t pour your contraband booze down a buffalo to hide if from the authorities*.

Locals in the Indian state of Gujarat were baffled by the bizarre behaviour shown by local buffalo, after the animals appeared disoriented, aggressive and began frothing at the mouth. Had it been Newcastle, it wouldn’t have taken an emergency vet to confirm the lucky animals were quite intoxicated.

Noting a peculiar smell and discolouration in the bwuffalo’s water trough, the finger of suspicion quickly swung toward their owners, three local farmers, who the vet promptly grassed up to the local law enforcement.

Further investigation confirmed the vet’s hypothesis, that the three men had defied Gujarat’s strict alcohol prohibition to brew their own liquor. Several bottles of this hooch had been hidden from prying eyes in the buffalo trough, but had subsequently broken (possibly at the hooves of a particularly wayward buffalo, though police reports remain frustratingly vague on this point) and spiked the drinking water.

A further 100 bottles were found in and around the property, with a street value of around 32,000 rupees,

or about £320. All three men were arrested, and face the prospect of fines or even imprisonment.

The moral of the story: Never send a buffalo to do a mule’s job.

*With apologies to the Ha-Ha-Bonk Joke Book For Kids.

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